Goodbye My Beloved Friend, Forever in My Heart.

I said goodbye to my best friend yesterday. Thanks to the integrity and compassion of the amazing people at Caring Pathways the experience was peaceful for both Griffin and I.  He passed laying next to me on his bed while I pet him, told him how loved he was, and how grateful I was such a beautiful soul came to share 12 years in this time and space with me. Deva Premal and Miten played softly on my iPhone in the background. The song "Shadow of Light" came on and when it ended everything went silent, the music stopped the exact moment I felt Griffin leave his body.



Making the decision to support Griffin's transition into the greater dimension of life was the hardest thing I have ever done. You might think that because I am animal communicator, who specializes in supporting people with the departure of their beloved companions that the process might be somewhat easier. I assure you it was not.  Griffin and I talked, and I was fully aware of his wishes. His health had been declining over the past few weeks and in his last two days the Degenerative Myelopathy had progressed to the point where he couldn't walk or stand, but when he looked at me he was still Griffin, my all smiles best friend. I sat at the computer bawling, going through articles I had preciously pinned to help others going through what I was now going through.  Griffin was whispering it's ok, I'm ready to go, it's time, its ok. My heart knew his words were true but my mind was having a hard time catching up. Even with the apparent fact that his body was clearly no longer serving him in this life, I couldn't fathom that this was it. And a big part of me was not wanting to get on board with making the call to the vet and move forward with making arrangements to let Griffin go.

While coping with the thoughts of my impending loss I stubbled across an article on my Pet-Loss Grief Healing Board titled, "Knowing When It's Time to say Goodbye". by Robin Bennet.  In the article she references a book she read that helped her with making the decision to let her beloved companion go. The book "The Dog Cancer Survival Guide," at one point outlined the 7 joys of life:

• 
  
• The joy of eating and drinking
• The joy of motion
• The joy of social interactions
• The joy of having a fully-functioning body
• The joy of a healthy mental state
• The joy of play
• The joy of expression

Robin's article shared that "The Dog Cancer Survival Guide" explained a pet losing one joy could still have a wonderful life, but if three or more joys of life were missing from the pets life the one would have to seriously consider quality of life. My own thought while reading this was at that point one would also have to find the strength to support their companion through the end of life process, something I discuss in my book, Beyond Companionship. It was clear to me that Griffin had loss the joy of motion, a fully-functionhing body, the joy of play, and joy of the full expression of livingness. That awareness was the turning point for me, I knew it was time in my heart and my mind now, but I still had not been brave enough to make the call to the vet. 

The morning all this was happening I had two calls from clients in the same position as me. Needing to make the decision to help their pet cross-over because the body was no longer serving him/her, but just life Griffin both the pets were expressions of love and joy and fully cognitive when interacting with their people. Supporting theses people and their pets, whininess their courage in supporting their animals wishes gave me the final push I needed to make the arrangements necessary for Griffins transition. 

There is an emptiness now in the house, being a German Shepherd a breed known for being attach at the owners hip, he would follow me from room to room. But to my surprise am ok. I'm fully at peace with his passing and my connection with him is still the same, if not stronger.  I'm focusing on self care and me kind to myself when I begin to judge my grief and healing experience, as I expected it to be far more painful and less peaceful at this juncture. 

Dear Griffin,

You filled the last 12 years of my life with love and joy. We climbed mountains and played in the ocean and I am grateful for every moment we shared. I am blessed the beautiful soul within you choose to share this life expression by my side. 

I am who I am to day because I knew you. You live on in my heart and your legacy is forever entwined with my sharing of the gift you awakened in me with the world. 

Until we meet again,

A.