In Memory Of Griffin

I AM WHO I AM BECAUSE I KNEW YOU

Excerpt from my book Beyond Companionship: Connecting with Kindred Souls of Animal Companions, in memory of my beloved companion Griffin. 

Waking Up: My First Soul Connection

I open my eyes slowly because the sunlight is invading my bedroom and I am aware that it is the weekend and I have slept in. I am also aware that the head of my three-year-old German Shepherd, Griffin, is resting on the bed and he is intently staring at me. I close my eyes and snuggle into my purple shabby chic comforter, wondering what he wants. My mind rests on the most obvious answer--Griffin needs to go outside.

I groan to myself at the thought of leaving my present comfort, and it is at that moment that I notice one very distinct sound missing--his whine. German Shepherds have a unique whine that any owner can attest to. The whine is so high pitched that there are moments I am sure Griffin is making noise, but the sound is beyond my range of hearing. The high pitch sounds made by Griffin that are within my hearing range can awake me from dead sleep. Griffin employs the German Shepherd whine often when he needs to go outside.

I turn my head back to Griffin, meeting his unusually quiet attentive stare and a question pops into my head, Why don’t we go to shows on the weekend anymore?

My logical mind protests this random and unexpected intrusion by not answering the question,  Immediately another question presents itself: Why did we move here?

Ok, I think. I am now intrigued as Griffin’s chin is still resting on the side of my bed and he has not taken his eyes off me. These are not questions I would ask myself, and all this while I am wondering, Am I dreaming right now?  I start to clearly think the answers to these questions that were presented in my mind and a dialogue begins. I then, in my mind, ask, Griffin, are you asking me these questions?  

He replies, Yes.

***

I have a dear friend and mentor, Paris Drake, a world-renowned psychic who has an office not far from where I grew up in Wisconsin. When Griffin connected with me and asked these questions, I wasn’t shocked. Because of my relationship with Paris, I was very open to the fact that connecting with other souls-- even animal souls--is possible.

If I could have invited you into my head to witness my first time communicating with an animal, my exchange with Griffin would have sounded like an inner monologue. Even today when an animal sends me a verbal message during a session, in my mind it is a similar feeling to what you feel when you are talking to yourself. I have learned that being aware of what I am thinking and feeling in every moment allows me to be acutely aware when I experience thoughts and feelings outside of my own. This is because our thoughts and feelings are sent out into the surrounding world through energy.  

At the core of each of our beings, person or animal, there is an energy, a vibration, a unique expression that radiates out into the world. These individual energetic frequencies converge in an ocean of energy which results in a sea of oneness where we all are interconnected.  The more I reached into this sea of oneness, connecting to the energies and souls around me, the more I began to resonate with the undeniable connectivity existing just beneath the surface of everything we see. It is this very oneness which allows me to peer into the eyes of a client's beloved animal companion and glimpse into their life experience.

If you would have told me at the moment Griffin first connected with me in this way that talking with animals would become my passion and life's work, I would not have believed you,  but the truth is something awoke deep within me that sunny spring morning in 2006, and over the course of the next year, I incessantly read books on animal communication and chatted with every animal that crossed my path.

People oftentimes ask me how I came to be an Intuitive Animal Communicator, inquiring if I have spent my whole life chatting with the animals, questioning who I studied with, and how many years of lessons I took. In truth, none of these paved the way to my present career.  I started with a gift and an insatiable need to share it. The rest of my pilgrimage from Amy Miller to Amy Miller, Intuitive Animal Communicator unfolded over time in the serendipitous way that occurs when you allow yourself to stand in the truth of who you are.

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Goodbye My Beloved Friend, Forever in My Heart.

I said goodbye to my best friend yesterday. Thanks to the integrity and compassion of the amazing people at Caring Pathways the experience was peaceful for both Griffin and I.  He passed laying next to me on his bed while I pet him, told him how loved he was, and how grateful I was such a beautiful soul came to share 12 years in this time and space with me. Deva Premal and Miten played softly on my iPhone in the background. The song "Shadow of Light" came on and when it ended everything went silent, the music stopped the exact moment I felt Griffin leave his body.



Making the decision to support Griffin's transition into the greater dimension of life was the hardest thing I have ever done. You might think that because I am animal communicator, who specializes in supporting people with the departure of their beloved companions that the process might be somewhat easier. I assure you it was not.  Griffin and I talked, and I was fully aware of his wishes. His health had been declining over the past few weeks and in his last two days the Degenerative Myelopathy had progressed to the point where he couldn't walk or stand, but when he looked at me he was still Griffin, my all smiles best friend. I sat at the computer bawling, going through articles I had preciously pinned to help others going through what I was now going through.  Griffin was whispering it's ok, I'm ready to go, it's time, its ok. My heart knew his words were true but my mind was having a hard time catching up. Even with the apparent fact that his body was clearly no longer serving him in this life, I couldn't fathom that this was it. And a big part of me was not wanting to get on board with making the call to the vet and move forward with making arrangements to let Griffin go.

While coping with the thoughts of my impending loss I stubbled across an article on my Pet-Loss Grief Healing Board titled, "Knowing When It's Time to say Goodbye". by Robin Bennet.  In the article she references a book she read that helped her with making the decision to let her beloved companion go. The book "The Dog Cancer Survival Guide," at one point outlined the 7 joys of life:

• 
  
• The joy of eating and drinking
• The joy of motion
• The joy of social interactions
• The joy of having a fully-functioning body
• The joy of a healthy mental state
• The joy of play
• The joy of expression

Robin's article shared that "The Dog Cancer Survival Guide" explained a pet losing one joy could still have a wonderful life, but if three or more joys of life were missing from the pets life the one would have to seriously consider quality of life. My own thought while reading this was at that point one would also have to find the strength to support their companion through the end of life process, something I discuss in my book, Beyond Companionship. It was clear to me that Griffin had loss the joy of motion, a fully-functionhing body, the joy of play, and joy of the full expression of livingness. That awareness was the turning point for me, I knew it was time in my heart and my mind now, but I still had not been brave enough to make the call to the vet. 

The morning all this was happening I had two calls from clients in the same position as me. Needing to make the decision to help their pet cross-over because the body was no longer serving him/her, but just life Griffin both the pets were expressions of love and joy and fully cognitive when interacting with their people. Supporting theses people and their pets, whininess their courage in supporting their animals wishes gave me the final push I needed to make the arrangements necessary for Griffins transition. 

There is an emptiness now in the house, being a German Shepherd a breed known for being attach at the owners hip, he would follow me from room to room. But to my surprise am ok. I'm fully at peace with his passing and my connection with him is still the same, if not stronger.  I'm focusing on self care and me kind to myself when I begin to judge my grief and healing experience, as I expected it to be far more painful and less peaceful at this juncture. 

Dear Griffin,

You filled the last 12 years of my life with love and joy. We climbed mountains and played in the ocean and I am grateful for every moment we shared. I am blessed the beautiful soul within you choose to share this life expression by my side. 

I am who I am to day because I knew you. You live on in my heart and your legacy is forever entwined with my sharing of the gift you awakened in me with the world. 

Until we meet again,

A.