LOSING MY BEST FRIEND; THE TRUTH OF IT ALL.

Confession:

Last night my significant other was feeling emotional about the remembered loss of a family member and he asked me, " Do you upset when you think about your dad?'  (I lost my dad many years ago when I was in collage.) I paused for moment and answered honestly, "No, but I still get very emotional about the loss of Griffin (my GSD)."

The Truth of it all:

The loss of my dad was a difficult experience especially because it was a shock, but that moment in time did not begin to compare to the overwhelmingly devastating loss of Griffin (almost 3 years ago) I honestly don't know if there are words to describe sorrow of that level. You would assume my position as an animal communicator and certified grief coach coupled with my pre-greiving, i.e. knowing because of his condition (DM) that the loss was coming, and being in communication with him throughout the entire process would have prepared me to manage my grief.

 It didn't. 

The grief hit me like a tsunami. For months the giant sea swell repeatedly toppled me over, dragging me under, churning me under the surface, with glimpses of air so faint and far between There were times I litteraly didn't know if I would make it. I was affected to the core of my being. The desolate pain and stress of it all showing up months later wreaking havoc on my physical and mental health. I would wake up at night in extreme panic thinking I was having a heart-attack. I would have these extreme panic attacks at the most random times even sitting in church. Because of that I became afraid leaving my house. Yes, you read that right. Outgoing, fun loving, me paralyzed by the fear that I would have a melt-down or panic-attack in public. I would cry all the time at random even when I thought I was happy. It was like I had no control over my body.  I became desolate, isolated, only reading out to the life raft those close to me in the most extreme moments when I felt I was grasping for my sanity. Looking back I'm lucky one of these panic attacks landed me in the ER giving me the opportunity to find support in managing my symptoms on every level. 

With the help of medication (I was on an anti-anxiety/depression medication for 9 months), a much need and focus on self-care, friends, family, and whole lot of soul searching I began to heal. So, why am I telling you all this...

I want you to know if your hurting, your not alone. 

The attached article that popped up in my feed this morning reminded me that I'm not alone in my loss. Many of us have experienced the loss of a beloved friend, family member, pet. We all experience, manage, live with and heal grief in our way, in our own time. I can't tell you how ashamed I felt that things got so bad I needed to be on medication for a time. Happy go lucky, blessed and grateful, fabulous me, medicated. It was surreal and a wake up call. I can honestly say now I don't think I could have truly seen where I was, or broke through the despair with out it. Here I am. Baring all. On the other side. Moments of grief still sifting through me at times, but carrying my grief in a healthier, manageable way. If I could only offer one sentiment of support to anyone out there in pain it would be this...

Be kind to yourself. 

You are where you are, and that's ok. If you need help, that's ok too. Be kind to yourself about where you are, the choices you make, and how you move through the present part of your journey in this time and space. Wether you know it or not what's happening right now is happening for you not to you. There is a light at the end of your tunnel. If all my years as a professional animal communicator and pet-loss grief coach have taught me anything, they have taught me this. You are not alone. The ones you love are loving you from the greater dimensions of life now and ALWAYS. 

Support/Resources:

If you are looking for support after the loss of a pet here is a link to my book, Beyond Companionship, It address supporting a pet through tradition and connecting even after s/he has crossed the rainbow bridge. Also a link to my services if you are seeking to connect with a pet who has passed. <3

Book: https://amzn.to/2xbR3O4

Services: http://amymillercoaching.com/services/


The mentioned article from my Facebook feed:
https://iheartdogs.com/why-losing-a-dog-can-be-even-more-painful-than-the-death-of-a-loved-one-2/

A MESSAGE FOR PETS WHO NEED TO TAKE MEDICATION/SUPPLIMETNS

Last month I worked with a few animal companions who were not feeling 100% and needed to take medication. Some animal companions don't mind taking medication if you are hiding it in something exciting like cheese, or hotdogs. There are some animal companions who will find a way to spit their meds back out no matter how stealth you think you are.  This months in-the-moment-messge is for anyone who needs their animal companion to be good about eating, drinking, or taking medication.

When I send a message to an animal who is not waiting to take an important medication or supplement I start always with the acknowledgment of their experience. For those of you who have read my book Beyond Companionship (link above) know that acknowledgment of the animals experience  creates a shift in energy, an opening that making your animal more receptive to whatever message or training technique that follows. I acknowledge the dislike first.

Next I explain what and/or why s/he has to take the medication focusing on the animals guardians motivation, i.e, supporting optimum health and well-being. I also let the animal know how important s/he is the guardian/family. I then add something like this, "So and so is committed to helping you feel your best and anything you can do to help so and so with that would be appreciated." At this point I may get specific with the animal about the action need such as drinking more water if there is dehydration, or say, "We need you to be calmer about taking your pill, or please eat all your food there is <insert med> in there to help you feel better."

This months message is short and simple but very effective as all messages should be!

Recap: Acknowledge the animals experience, give a short explanation about what and/or why, tell your animal companion what action you need from them.

*BONUS*
For anyone having a rough time sticking a big pill down your animals throat, here is my super secret trick I used with Griffin. Roll the pill in butter before you try. It will be super slick to slide down and super tasty too!

Happy Chatting! 

For more detailed information on my in-the-moment messages ending techniques check out the Pause & Connect Point on page 37 of my book Beyond Companionship: Connecting with Kindred Souls of Animal Companions (click title for purchase link)